


Speak the Truth

by female_overlord_3



Category: The Magicians (TV)
Genre: Episode Fix-it, Episode: s04e12 The Secret Sea, I had a lot of feelings, a little sad and disappointed but life, about this episode, emotional talk, short and bittersweet, with hopeful ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-11
Updated: 2019-04-11
Packaged: 2020-01-11 09:48:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18428060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/female_overlord_3/pseuds/female_overlord_3
Summary: What Quentin should have said.





	Speak the Truth

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AlxSteele](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlxSteele/gifts).



> I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS AFTER TONIGHTS EPISODE AND JUST WTF. IDK MAN. I DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL. CAUSE WHAT WAS THIS. ANYWAY HERE'S A FIX-IT FOR WHAT QUENTIN GOLDWATER WAS ACTUALLY GOING TO SAY.
> 
> For the awesome Alxsteele. I GOT YOU INTO THIS SHOW. I CAN MAKE IT BETTER 💖😭

Quentin doesn't know what this stupid plant wants. His hands are gripping his hair because Gods he doesn't even know what he wants. He wants- no he knows what he can have. What he can't have. What he tried-

Quentin’s so glad he's finally alone because he can just scream, scream and let out all his frustration and pain and desperation of losing his hope. How can he say he loves Fillory but the love he had, the two times he got to love this place with his whole heart, either didn't add up or apparently didn't mean anything.

“You know what I did love you and a part of me still does. Because you gave me the escape I needed, for people like me who needed one when the only way out was an end to it all.”

He's pacing now.

“Then I spent more than 50 years at that puzzle, to bring back magic and get that stupid key, with  _ him _ .”

Quentin thought finally saying something from their time there would lighten this ever growing weight he can't get rid of but somehow it get worse.

“I fell in love again. With Fillory and Eliot and honest to god life for once! There was no insane disaster, a life or death situation, so many people and complicated feelings! Just me, Eliot, and the puzzle. Then you gave us Arielle and Teddy, his wife Adaya, our grandkids, our great-grandkids… but then you took Ari away and then Eliot so I could get that stupid tile then left me there alone then I was suddenly back with no recollection until it all came crashing back. You know what I realized after, randomly? Without me you wouldn't have been freed from Martin Chatwin because without me Jane never would have gotten that key. Without me and Eliot FUCKING dying.”

Quentin's full on yelling at the plant but everything in him just keeps building.

“Now I don't love you because Fillory isn't what it was supposed to be and Eliot-”

He falls to kneel down before the barren twig.

“Eliot's alive but he's a monsters meatsuit and I don't know if we can save him or what to even do because he didn't want us when we came back but he said my own words back at me with that look in his eyes and-”

His hands fall uselessly to his side as do tears. Whatever bullshit feeling of this never ending weight doesn't just lift to make him feel light, it drains from him and everything with it. He's left hollowed out and so tired.

He looks through blurry eyes and sees a still barren stick, sighing to another defeat.

“If anything this is the least you owe me. After everything I did, how much you've taken from me yet I still had hope it would be enough. I still loved fillory for all that time so please.”

Slowly the twig turns green with life and it begins to bloom. 

A shuddering breath leaves Quentin and he gives himself just 1 second, a second to feel some sort of relief or gratitude or  _ something _ but there's nothing so he takes another second to compose himself before plucking a petal and goes to call the others in but then he notices something else growing.

Next to the plant a single flower has grown. I t's a deep purple with a black center and dots of white splattered across that look like- stars actual twinkling stars and the purple and black are shifting along the petals. Small vines twist and turn, clinging onto the finger that is shaking as it reaches out to touch it.

It circles and travels until the vine wraps around his wrist, the flower going with it as it's encased in a clear protective bubble.

A tiny spark of warmth settles in his chest and with it flashes of what to do and most of all: Hope.


End file.
